i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize