mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The air was thick with penises
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
