My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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