I hate all girls vehemently.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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