I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize