I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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