OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
