So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
