my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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