As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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