I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize