you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
