I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
