i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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