I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
