There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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