Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
