I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize