OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
