he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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