A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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