so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
