Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
