Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Sext me about skeletons
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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