I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
