a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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