The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
