D3 body, D1 cock
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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