She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
