How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
