my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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