My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
