he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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