the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
