Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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