It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
