Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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