Im at strip club and am horny
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
