Jerry, you need to find god
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
