matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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