She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
