I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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