ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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