Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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