I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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