Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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