I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize