My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
