She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
