so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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