as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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