you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize