Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
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