Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
