she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
