FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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