I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
where are my eyebrows?
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